“I Think in Terms of Emotions”
“I think in terms of emotions. And feelings. So sometimes what I say may not always be clear. But creatively, there’s a lot to be said for that way of thinking.” This quote is attributed to Brian Wilson, and I think this sentiment is true for many artists. There’s a documentary about the British band XTC where singer Andy Partridge describes his experience with synesthesia; in his case, his brain associates colors with certain numbers. Billie Eilish also perceives things this way: “[I have] a thing in [my] brain where [I] associate random stuff to everything. So for instance, every day of the week has a color, a number, a shape. Sometimes things have a smell that I can think of or a temperature or a texture.”
This sort of perception/processing is weirdly familiar to me — more so when I was a child, but I can still appreciate and understand where they’re coming from. Emotions fascinate me and I feel them very acutely. I think in pop psychology parlance I’d be called an “empath.” So imagine my delight at seeing this new column in the Guardian: “The last word: The best literary descriptions of the way we feel.” So far, the column has looked at “first love” and “hope” and how authors describe these hard-to-describe emotions.
We often read to “feel” something, but maybe we also read to see how an author (via a character) feels something. How fascinating that an event might deeply affect our perception based on how it makes us “feel.” In some of my interviews for my book, I’ve asked people what homesickness “feels like.” I loved my niece’s very precise description: “I feel it in my sternum.”
Back to Brian Wilson and his genius (note all the artists forever explaining how his compositions are much more complex than we realize): We recently enjoyed a multigenerational outing to the Cape Cod Melody Tent to see The Beach Boys. (I mean, it’s only 2 original members who still tour…Brian Wilson hasn’t toured since 1964.) Is this a little bit cheesy? Maybe. But I felt a mix of pride (loved seeing both my kids and in-laws bopping along) and joy coupled with melancholy (because we’re all going different directions) that made for a memorable night. What a feeling.
originally published on instagram